Thursday April 30th....

I wasn't sure what to call this post, so I just dated it :)!
Anyway, Tuesday Kieran's OT cancelled and has not called to reschedule, hmmm for someone so eager to work with him, she is not making the call- she also seems a bit hippyesck- so we will see, we only have 3 months until he ages out, so I hope she is decent at what she does-
Had a great day at the beach on monday with my mom and Kieran, the weather was great and then we met up with my sister, Aunt Gigi, for lunch!
I have to work on my resume, and start to figure out what I will do when fall comes and Kieran is in school PT. I am hoping to find something within Early Intervention so I can do it while Kieran is in school in the mornings, cause working the afternoons the way I do know will be hard when he is in school.
Ahhh, I am also trying to move on in life with somethings and trying to be a better overall person, friend, wife, mother... It is hard and took a lot of self examining to see where it was going astray, but isn't that what this blog is about, me- living, loving and changing?
I figured out that since I had a bad friend breakup a number of years back, I hold back, A LOT, I am tentative, if things start going well, I pull back and retreat, I am awful with follow through and in what my recent revelation brought to light, I do all of this in attempts to protect myself from more hurt and disappointment. Yet, all I am doing is ending friendships and causing myself more misery and disappointment. Stupid, right? Right! Well, that is changing and changing NOW! For a long time, I have tried to make excuses for lots of things and that is stopping. I am in control of myself and my life, therefore I can lose the weight, make and keep new friends, rekindle past friendships and be HAPPY!
Kieran has taken to asking me, quite often, "mommy, you happy now?" and I always tell him yes baby, mommy is happy. But, a part of me always said, hmmm, are you, and if you are not 100% happy what can you do about it, and I am doing something about it! I am taking spin classes, trying to get my resume together to find a job that I enjoy, talking about my mistakes and feelings, and moving on. Feels good, but is scary at the same time.
Anyway, hoping to hear some good news today about Mike and a possible career move and that Kieran naps :)!~
:)!